There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
