I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
