Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
