eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
