Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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