I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
