porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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