I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
