..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
