You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
