I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
