well you can't waste a boner
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
