to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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