I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
