doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
