he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
