She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
