My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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