when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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