if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
