If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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