You can't motorboat a personality
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Everything about him screamed your future.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
