I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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