White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
