We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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