Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
