Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
