It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
