don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
