U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
