Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
