Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
