there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
