You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
