it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
