The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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