I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
