just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
