My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
