Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
