and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
