That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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