I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
