Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my sisters under your porch take her home
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
