Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
