Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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