we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
