matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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