Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
