So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
