Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
