I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
