i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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