one might say we're banned from that church
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
honey bunches of taint.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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